The "guru list" pain

We are continuing with series of articles on “guru list” strategy, please read previous articles to familiarize yourself with the topic.

Today, we will be examining the pains and pleasures of the “guru list”.

“Guru list” has two doors, one for entering and one for exiting. Today, we will talk about exit door.

When someone on the “guru list” starts behaving in strange ways, it is very painful to remove him. And that is one of the major problems with “guru list”. People are kinda glued to this position and removing them includes a lot of pain, both for them and for those who are removing them.

Let’s take ping pong acarya as an example. He did every possible deviation you could imagine, from playing ping pong with girls in shorts up to directly confronting his spiritual master Srila Prabhupada by saying that disrobing of Draupadi never took place. He also said that cultured women in ancient times were topless, I mean if he is guru, then I am Donald Duck.

Maybe we should throw Prabhupada’s Bhagavad-gita into garbage can, because Prabhupada says: “When the sons of Dhrtarastra tried to disrobe Draupadi in the assembly of the Kurus, Bhisma and Drona were silent, and for such negligence of duty they should be killed.” (BG 11.49p)

Now, if you want to accept speculative guru who directly contradicts Srila Prabhupada, I don’t mind, as long as he is not on the “guru list”, and best way to remove him from the “guru list” is to abolish guru list all together because Prabhupada never wanted guru list.

So, why is he still a guru?

So, prepare yourself to be shocked, ping pong acarya who said cultured women are topless in vedic times is still guru and pure devotee because …

GBC body didn’t have enough votes to decide otherwise. So, as a member of ISKCON, I have to believe that ping pong acarya is guru and pure devotee because of this stupid voting system and imagined “guru list” strategy. Here is a proof by ping pong acarya himself:

You see, ping pong acarya needs his “diksa privileges” to be able to continue to play ping pong in shorts, bless gay monogamy and do all other nonsense.

And I have to believe that he is pure devotee because he is on the “guru list”, otherwise I am offender. And because of this “offensive” attitude, I was kicked out from my local temple. Well, some people on the current “guru list” are not gurus and whole strategy is a speculation.

Srila Prabhupada never proposed this nonsense guru list. This is completely imagined strategy, concocted by the GBC body after Srila Prabhupada left. Find me one quote where Srila Prabhupada suggests to his disciples to establish a “guru list” and I’ll give ya 100$.


In the normal world, if guru list strategy wouldn’t exist, I wouldn’t be obliged by the GBC to accept ping pong player as pure devotee and it would be a much nicer world. Instead of going through the pain of removing ping pong acarya, which it seems is an impossible mission, solution would be much more simple.

Whole GBC body or 5-10 GBC members could sign a joint statement quoting Prabhupada in which they explain that pure devotees are not into idle sports. And that’s it. Everybody is warned, everybody is free to preach according to Prabhupada’s standards, and I could openly say that Hridayananda is nonsense. And of course, everybody who wants to take initiation from him is free to do so, you can take initiation from Donald Duck as far as I am concerned, but I not obliged to believe in your fake guru. Neither I am obliged to stay silent because he is on the “guru list”.

And GBC would still be able to prevent Hridayananda das Goswami from traveling.

But ping pong acarya would lose half of his power if “guru list” would be abolished. If fact, if ping pong acarya didn’t use power of the “guru list”, if he had “some competition” in South America, he would never achieve current status of maha-deviation-acarya. Guru list actually helped him.

Without “guru list”, we would have free society in which gurus are measured by their qualification, not by administrative vote, it would be a beautiful world, world that Prabhupada gave us. Instead, we are stuck in this “guru list” nonsense, which includes sannyasis with girlfriends and all other types of nonsense. And everybody who doesn’t agree with “guru list” nonsense is offender.

I mean GBC body, finally figured it out, sannyasis don’t have to fall down anymore, if you feel like you are falling down, just get yourself cute unmarried female secretary and remain sannyasi and guru, that is a win-win situation.

This article originally appeared on Lasting Impression website

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